Good morning sunshine! I hope your day isn’t as wonderful as mine has been so far… today got off to a glorious start of having Junior sick and nauseated, Cutie slept in and had to rush around in order to make the bus to school on time (which she did thankfully), make breakfast for the kiddos, pack Cutie’s bag for the day, feed the animals, and then take a shower so my day can officially begin. Well, that’s been the routine since school started this year- with the exception of Cutie rushing and Junior being sick.
So, today like I said was off to a wonderful start (have you noticed I speak fluent sarcasm?)…finishing up my coffee and getting ready to take my shower when the doorbell rings. Huh? Not expecting anyone or anything before 8 am today, let alone any day really.
Open the door, and who is there other than your local pest guy. No, not the neighbor who should have their house egged from their lack of Halloween etiquette, the actual bug/vermin/pest guy with his happy little hat, backpack full of toxins (non-lethal in small quantities to humans and domesticated animals of course) saying he was there to spread his wonderfulness around the house both inside and out. (record needle being screeched sound effect inserted here) What? Are you kidding me? I know nothing about this. I must look like a deer in the headlights at this point. So, I ask Bill if he knows anything about it- nope. I ask Millie if she does- nope. Millie then asks Phil (who is still snoring away in Dreamland at this point) at which he is like, oh yeah; they are going to be here today they called yesterday. Now, unlike some of those other Martha Stewart/Bree Van de Kamp psychos women out there, I don’t have a perfectly clean house every day of the week, hell I’m lucky if I’m batting .500 lately; unless I know someone is going to see my chaos house other than family and friends that don’t come to see my house, they come to see me -shock I know, that I actually have friends because I’m such a ray of sunshine wherever I go- sarcasm? Maybe, if you know me you know the truth. ;) Long story short, if you don’t know me very well, or if I don’t know you very well, you would think that I’m one of those Martha Stewart/Bree Van de Kamp psychos when you enter my house because I’m that good at cleaning faking it. C’mon, I know I’m not the only one in that boat- just sayin’.
Okay, so now the hurricane that needs to be done should happen- but instead, just have the tropical storm blow through to get the areas needed to be cleaned for the pest guy to do his job; and I am going to make this mortifying morning better by justifying this guy has to have seen worse places than mine, starting to feel a little better- not much, but a little. At least I have a jump start on my cleaning for the day. I guess there is a silver lining to this morning after all.
Damn. My coffee’s cold… that lining has a bit of tarnish character now.
Similarity to any real person other than myself is purely unfortunate for them coincidental, this is my story so please don’t be an ass and copy/use it as your own.
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